me as a pizza

okay, I love to do these tests, but I rarely wanna post them.... but this one is surprisingly accurate. I would have ordered this already if I'd known it existed.

Meatball Pizza

Unusual and uncompromising. You're usually the first to discover a new trend. You appreciate a good meal and good company. You're an interesting blend of traditional and modern.

What's Your Pizza Personality?

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ps-I was oreo cookie ice cream too, cookie!


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story about my grandfather

I don't know why this story popped into my head right now, but anyway, it illustrates that there are executives and then there are executives....

my grandfather used to be a big management exec. he had a driver and one time they were in manhattan, up from philly for a couple of days. in the morning at breakfast, my grandfather asked his driver how his room was. so it came out that the company was putting the driver up in a real dive on 42nd st (before the disneyfication, of course). so my grandfather asks for a telephone and calls down to philly and starts pitching a fit about how he can't find his driver, and the hotel staff doesn't know anything. when they admit they'll have to track him down across town, my grandfather insists that from then on, his driver stays at the same place he does. and so it was.....

pretty cool.

yelling at old people

I'm looking forward to my trip to Toronto at the end of the week for the usual reasons (yoga! -ahhhhh and fressen! -mmmmmm) but there is one part of the trip that I'm not really looking forward to - the upcoming visit to the rest-stop. for most people, this might be bad cause the bathrooms are dirty or something, but I have nothing against the canadian bathrooms (except that they call them washrooms) and I always enjoyed getting out of the car and grabbing some coffee and a donut or some fries, until... well... I started yelling at old people.

I mean, just one old person. so that's not so bad, right? actually, I didn't even yell at her, but she was old. and I did scold her, and I felt terribly about it afterward.

the reason was, she was totally bitching about the service at the Wendy's whose line we were in, and the service was fine. she was just a crabby, mean person, between bossing her friend (who was at least as ancient as her) to go check the lines at the other restaurant and making comments about the people who worked at the Wendy's. and the worst part was, she had some like 10-year-old grandson with her, and he looked like a pretty good kid. so that's some education, gramma!

I always thought growing up in the city means you can ignore anything, but she was so f-ing acid, after about 5 minutes I couldn't even take it anymore and said "well if you think the line is too slow here, why don't you try at the other place," and pointed out how rude she was being. I wasn't surprised that she tried to turn it around and said "well you are rude to say that to me."

so I said real patient and calm like I was explaining to one of my little elementary students: "no, you are being rude."

well, she apologized after that and (even better) shut up. and when I left the line with my order, a few people still in line gave me the thumbs-up or the 'meaningful smile' (which means a thumbs-up). but I still felt awful.

after all, she was old. plus, let's be honest, I just can't take conflict. even if I win.

I'm really afraid what I might do if some codger in front of me takes to long to choose a donut.

*shiver* I am pure evil.

oh my god! Jenna Elfman was on the radio being interviewed this morning and... she's a scientologist!?! I swear something really turns off in my brain when I hear that. so now, I lost another actor/actress to watch because I just can't be bothered with them anymore.

creep me out! dad, I guess I vote for Tea Leoni to play tha lorider in the TV movie of my life after all...

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and then after the interview they said Beck is, too! maybe I knew that one already. anyway, ??!!??!!!!!


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"I was sure he would screw it up"

yahoo! two great pieces of news for the social register today - numero uno is my step-sister is a first-time auntie!! her younger brother had a baby girl. both mother and daughter are resting and doing well!!

**** and Numero Dos (drumroll), also from this week, my friend Marie got engaged!! congratulations to the happy couple!! ****

I can assure you, the title of this post sounds even funnier in a french accent :) but her fiance, Aaron (oooooohhhhhhhh!) managed to surprise her in a very romantic fashion. way to go, Aaron!!!

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ps - sorry, Marie, I couldn't resist quoting you!! hahahaha!


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hurry, cookie!

you better get over here to detroit before all the delapidation is gone!

in other news..... I'd actually like to see this idol off-shoot, hopefully someone will load clips in the inter-tron.



random image:

LOTF

aside: hmmmm, I had to reconsider whether to post this after witnessing the recent change of venue of a co-blogspotter (and yet he lands on his feet - I can't believe such a great address wasn't taken! kudos, tf) well, I've altered this subtly ... just in case...:

watch out! in another overly-hyped media production, you will soon be watching a three-hour saga about the WAR OF THE FORKS! here is the rough outline of my screenplay, which will be told as a voiceover from the journal of an aspiring war-correspondant:

WAR OF THE FORKS (Episode I)
tagline: "nobody panic and no one will get hurt!"

dateline- 10:30 last tuesday: I think it is the nature of a large office for forks to disappear little by little, but our housekeeper decided to take this personally for some reason. he's been hoarding forks in the storage room, letting us eat off of spoons and occasionally, strangely-shaped airline forks when they turn up. as the vips here don't eat lunch with us peons, he's been getting away with this strange behavior. until..... today....... a very, very vip at our office went to get a fork for her salad and lo and behold, she had to eat with a funny-shaped fork!!!!!! the evil, but misunderstood peon got blasted. she is a very, very vip who likes to have a well-shaped selection of forks at her disposal.

dateline - yesterday afternoon:well, poor mr. hk didn't mend his foolish ways, but just shifted a few forks from here to there. he got reamed out again, only this time by a very sweet admin person who honestly, I've only heard her raise her voice one other time. well, mr. hk must have been so hurt by this he lost his mind entirely........

dateline - today about 5 minutes ago: I just looked in the drawer and the entire silverware tray was covered in a mountain of forks, forks!..... forks of every shape and size. he must have had these all along, but I don't see how not letting us use them was solving the problem? plus, our very, very vip ("how do you think I got so rich?") don't like too little or too much forks! if she happens to open the drawer, my friends, there is going to be more drama!

segue to Episode II: I tremble, I shiver..... I fear I may soon witness first-ever firing over forks!!

wednesdays with lord chesterfield

"Be wiser than other people if you can, but do not tell them so."
Lord Chesterfield


actually, this is my blogger-code, I..... oops.

hello?

seriously, brits don't know what this is?

test!: your movie aptitude

♪ One of these things is not like the others,
One of these things just doesn't belong,
Can you tell which thing is not like the others
By the time I finish my song? ♪

-Star Wars Episode 3
-War of the Worlds
-Stage Beauty
-Tony Takitani

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want to see some great photography? then check out this guy's website

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happy weekend to me!

oh yeah, I just decided what I'm gonna do this weekend: NOTHING!

hell yeah! movies, and maybe clean the house a bit, and sleep. legally blonde, here I come! again!

it's still my birthday week so read this and love it!

thanks, anonymous coworker for reminding us all of the rap song like whoa, cause I was having trouble making rhymes for this. I've been working on it for a week. it's an:

ODE TO MY LIP GLOSS

It smells like honey (I am the baddest mf in the room!)
It's shiny and shimmery with a tinsy bit of pink (I am the baddest mf in the room!)
Gives me something to do at work because it must be reapplied regularly (I am the baddest mf in the room!)
But not too regularly (I am the baddest mf in the room!)
Actually leaves my lips in pretty good shape, moisture-wise (I am the baddest mf in the room!)
You can get it at the drugstore (I am the baddest mf in the room!)
It's by bonne bell (you know you love bonne bell!) (I am the baddest mf in the room!)

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I really am a great writer!


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question for you drug-lords who read my blog

"But at 0830 GMT on Friday, a man on a train called in to say he might have been hallucinating, but he had just seen a whale in the Thames." -BBC

I don't know that much about hallucinogens, but don't you know when you might be hallucinating?
(and then don't you not call a government office and offer the info?)

internet dating update!

okay, maybe the exclamation point is unwarranted. just wanted to point out that the hallowed match.com, on a cursory search, has the same exact bozos that were on my last service, as I suspected. so am I gonna shell out money to them... prob not.

cooking classes, here I come. *sigh*

in another internet dealy, some 'friends' were 'pressuring me' to 'use' myspace.com. I thought this was a ploy to make me meet 'hot' guys they had stumbled over on the information superhighway sidewalk, but actually, there was a b-day message for me on there! wahoo!!!!!!!!!!!

synchronicity

oh man, all I am good for is sleeping this week.
the end.


UPDATE: okay, the reason why this post is called sychronicity, but I was tired to type this all, is that it seems like everybody was tired/under the weather/blue/? over the last week. is there something to this? listeners, please call in. Friday 13th? full moon? what were your experiences?

cowboy story part deux

oh crap, I just looked at my stats and the numbers are way up - you must all be looking for the end of the story! here you go:

over the low croaking of the frogs, they heard billy's phone ringing back at the house. he excused himself and willy crouched down by the water, listening to the frogs and thinking long thoughts. about 5 min later, billy came back and said that it was the new tenants over at his folk's place calling, they'd come across a set of antique glass bottles in the back of the barn.

"I told em that was your collection, will," said billy. "member you kept em there to hide em from lattie? I never thought they were that old, though."

"shit," said willy. "I don't want em anymore."

"they said they're worth about 300 bucks. they wanta put em in their kitchen. they'll pay you for em."

"pretty straight of em." (ironic use of the word straight)

so that's how willy got the money to put in a frog pond up at his new place. his nephews loved getting muddy in it, which lattie hated and so willy had a new reason to enjoy the pond and, you know? willy and billy realized that they had a few fond old memories in common and they took to grabbing a beer together at JJ's bar when willy came to town.

after all, new friends are silver but old are gold.

the end

Re: Fwd: All drugs containing PHENYLPROPANOLAMINE are being recalled

strangely, this is the tile of one of the more personal and heartwarming e-mails I've received lately. anyhoo, watch out for that phenylpropanolamine. (I already knew it was dangerous cause it has the letters "nola" in it. that's god's way of warning us he's mad at us.)

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as a big-time sammich fan, I ask you to join me in a moment of holy and solemn celebration on the 228th anniversary of the (European) discovery of the Sandwich Islands!


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story time

hi folkses. I decided to write you all a story.

once upon a time.

there were two gay cowboys who grew up as neighbors out in the west. they were okay friends growing up, but they didn't really take to each other even just as friends, and that was too bad according to those family members who were a little more aware. they had figured if the two paired up it would work out nicely. funny how families always have their great ideas.

cowboy a call him willy bought a little farm when he'd saved enough. the thing about it was the frog pond out back. more of a pond, but there were a lot of frogs. willy took to strolling out back in the evenings and listening to the frogs. damn, he loved that frog-pond. in the summers it seemed like that was the best thing about his day, hearing those frogs and smelling the night air.

one day, he decided to sell his place so he could move nearer to his sister and be close as the brats came up. so he looked around for a buyer and what do you know, cowboy b or billy as he was known was the interested party. they came to an agreement and willy packed up and moved away.

now billy was not so much of a nature guy, even though he was a cowboy. he took all that natural stuff for granted or as a kind of background noise and didn't give a shit. as a matter of fact, he thought the frogs were kind of noisy and thought idly about filling in the pond every now and again. (don't worry, he's not really going to.) but one day willy came back.

he stopped over to the farm and asked billy was everything okay and all that. and billy said yeah and so forth. they bullshitted a bit but really willy wanted to get back to that frog pond. so before long he asked billy if he could stroll back and see the pond. "you see, I always did like to listen to those frogs a-belchin." billy said fine and they walked back.


well, I'm tired of writing now, so I'll finish it up tomorrow. you can guess how you think it'll end in the comments, if you want.

b-day bonanza!

thanks to everyone who made my birthday so special!!! you know who you are! (let's just say: belgian food, japanese food and a dessert buffet! yeah! -n' kabuki, yeah!) and thanks for the well-wishes from all youz on the Inter-Connect!!! :)


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I am feeling old. but a little less old, due to all the well-wishes... now I get why birthday celebrations were invented.


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smartys you know who you are!

now I'm going to call out the smarty-pantses who gave me gag gifts for my birthday! (MY BIRTHDAY THE HOLIEST DAY OF THE YEAR !)

-BRITEW! she wrapped up a book that I HAD LENT HER !
-bedhead: seriously, "travel-size condiments?" this suspiciously seems like the stuff that is given out for free at the drive-through! let's not even get into the choco Santa!
-mom: she wrapped her used George Foreman grill that she told me three months ago she was gonna give me.

why me, god, why me?

ps I gave my lil bro the book of cool ! he loved it!

happy birthday to me!

hurray! I already started celebrating my birthday a couple days ago, and gotten a bunch of great and um..... some interesting... gifts... (thanks all!)

but today's the actual day! and I'm so.... tired.... zzzzzzzzz..........

maybe celebrate later.............

the ides of blog - Jan: Detroit blogs

alright, the ides this month is Detroit blogs - in case you are thinking about a trip to our fair city.... hint hint

detroit craft mafia - cool!

detroitarts.blogspot.com - cool!

motor city rocks - some music stuff

faded detroit - this website shows what most Detroit area people think, when we think about Detroit. we love you Detroit, but... damn!

blessyouboys.com - great site for some hometown pride

bonus: jalopnik.com of course, I must have one about cars. I think these guys are based out of Detroit, cause they've been at the auto show everyday this week.

Friday the 13th ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh!

look out for Jason!!!!!!!!!


he's right behind you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

willem dafoe eats at hooters!

yeah, I'm still reading bitterwaitress.com - if you've ever been a server, it makes for good reading. I waitressed in a few places and even was promoted to part-time pastry chef at one place cause the owner was an alcoholic and had some pretty weird ideas when she was stoned out of her mind. her management skills were not the greatest.

I waited on some rude people, and one situation where a guy was dripping his mixed drink from a straw into a one-year-old baby's mouth!!!!!!!!! but I also had some great people, too:

-four ladies who joked around with me the whole time then left a good tip AND a backward-written message on a napkin! (let this be a lesson that things other than money are appreciated, too - nb when in addition to money)
-somebody gave me four dollar coins once. that was cool.
-I catered lunches for Industrial Light and Magic for a while. they were a great group of guys. very friendly.

and anyway one time I accidently spilled the sauce from a shrimp scampi on a guy's suede jacket. and I also accidently spilled a beer on a lady's head once. so I think it pretty much all evened out.

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hey, nobody's perfect


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internet make work go faster

just cruising on bitterwaitress.com and I actually laughed out loud for about a minute on this one. had to share it with you:

Tipper's Name: Gwyneth Paltrow
Where it happened: Chicago
Total bill / Tip amount / Percentage: $137.55 / $0.28 / 0%
What happened: I seriously don't think she meant to tip. Some money just fell out of her handbag and onto the table.

and to think I used to respect her !!!!

damn progress!!

crap! I just found out my favorite restaurant in new york is some shitty cigar-friendly steakhouse now!!

fuck!!!!

that used to be my city-haven when I went to college in the berkshires - I'd take the train into grand central, walk all around manhattan, and then eat a good italian dinner and go back to nowheres-ville.

I kinda thought that each time I go back to nyc, I could count on a good meal there.....

this blows.

two things about Chuck....

ooops! it's wednesday! time for wednesday with Lord Chesterfield!!!

Frequent and loud laughter is the characteristic of folly and ill manners.
Lord Chesterfield

If you are not in fashion, you are nobody.
Lord Chesterfield

1209 anarchists' roommate edition: extra! fun doing chores!

wahoo! Liliana came over last night and helped me put up plastic over the windows. I can't believe that I've lived mostly in older houses all my life, and I never heard of putting plastic up.... but my downstairs neighbors did it this year, and I could feel such a difference in their place that I decided to try it...

yes, Liliana is slowly coming over more. reminds me of BRITEW, she was so used to staying with her friends that it took a month or two before she stayed over regularly. I guess, especially since Liliana comes right over if there's any work to do, I'm just fine with it :) now we've gotten the chance to talk a little bit, and she seems interested in interesting things and sweet. so I'm looking forward to getting to know her better.

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YOU ARE UNDER MY POWER


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my b-day coming up

a dear friend asked me yesterday if I'm excited about my birthday coming up and the answer is.... no.

I'm not excited or bummed about it. I'm just... mmfff. (with a high intonation). ever since I turned thirty, I just can't be excited about my birthday.

luckily, I can still be excited about getting presents, though!!!!!!! so click on over to my wish list, suckerz!!!

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(oh Marie - I keep forgetting to e-mail you, so here's what I wanted to tell you: that 'boat' you ordered the other day is supposed to be for 2 people!!!! the paper I picked up outside the restaurant had a restaurant review of it and it specifically talked about how popular the boat is and how it's for 2 people!!! hahaha so good job! ps- it was fun seeing you!!)

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things to do that don't cost money

this topic has been on my mind for a few days... I was kind of surprised how long the list got once I started. of course, I went out last night... but that's not the point! it's just good to know I have options.....

-eat gum
-listen to the radio
-listen to my music collection/reorganize it
-sing jazz standards
-paint
-go for a walk
-drive to a nature park
-sit wrapped up in a blanket and look out the window
-watch TV or a video I already have
-cook something with ingredients I already have in my kitchen
-play with my cats
-visit my neighbors
-go to the library

spring/summer:
-go for a bike ride
-poke around in the garden

america needs you and me, people

well, I did my bit as an american citizen last night: I shopped and then went to the movies. gotta keep the old economy and the entertainment-machine moving along.

actually at shopping, I only had to pay $3 out of pocket, cause my not-boss gave me a gift card to Best Buy! (he works with my boss, I don't really do anything for him, but I don't argue when he gives me a gift) I got some speakers for my laptop - actually it's one unit, so easier to cart around, I figured - and an RF modulator and a remote control. I'm a good little shopper. (although... is $20 a good price for an RF modulator?)

(aside - now I know where to go to meet cute av nerds!!!! about 6 of them rushed up to help me and there were more shopping there!!! note to self - must go back)

then I drove to cute lil Royal Oak to see the movie. my town has about 8 blocks of restaurants and shops and one tiny art theater with three screening rooms. I stopped for a quick eggplant parm and then I saw brokeback mountain. as expected, I cried like a baby. it was a sweet movie about the very human fear that being emotionally vulnerable will lead to our deaths... but not metaphorically. nope, actual bloody and violent death. doesn't that keep you up at night?

as usual, my favorite part of the movie was the scenery. but the performances were good, & I especially liked some of the supporting people. hard to explain it, but it kind of felt like a short story... know what I mean? I guess I'll read the story next.

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"a lady friend of mine asked me,"well, what do you love most?"
that's how I started painting money." - andy warhol


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art, anyone...?

this book may well be the only proof that art still lives on in the hearts and minds of the common American....

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art is either plagiarism or revolution. -paul gauguin


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my wedding

♪ dum dum dum-dum..... this post by finicky feline inspired me to steal her idea to write about my thoughts on this topic. as I'm about to turn 32 in a couple weeks (yay, cookie!!! send me a pres!!!), I think it's a pretty typical good time for me to post about this.

I was raised by retroantinouveauxpostapocolyptic feminists, so I never got any barbies, pink clothes (except for the pink bikini my great-aunt slipped by my mom, but I was about 1 and a half, so I couldn't really appreciate it) or encouragement to imagine my wedding day. but over the years, idle thoughts about "my ideal wedding" began to form...... and several key points have surfaced:

SMALL- maybe it's from seeing the photos of my grandparents' wedding reception: imagine (in glorious sepia tones) a picture of a table with about 15 smiling people around it, on an enclosed porch in a retaurant...... or maybe just because I detest rooms stuffed with people... anyway, I want it to be small. considering how much family I alone have, though, I don't know how I could actually do this. so eloping is a distinct possibility.... but if that doesn't happen, the rest of these would come into play:

BACKWARDS- in keeping with my ass-backwards self (examples include always eating dessert first, and going to college at 15 but maturing into an adult at....well..... I'll let you know), I imagine that it would be nice to have the reception first, and then the ceremony. a nice, relaxed brunch, then a noon or one-o'clock ceremony. because then you are all getting ready for the event together. then maybe just a quick cake and champers after.... and then the groom and me can.... no not that !!! just adjust to being married in privacy.... no not that kind of privacy!!! jeez. it just seems like getting married would be pretty emotionally.... ummm.... huge, so I'd rather have some downtime together after so's we could just take it all in.....

YOGA PEOPLE- yeah, lots o' purple and tie-dye and incense and rambling blessings mentioning multiple deities!!!!

THE DRESS- yes, I've even designed my own dress... in my mind anyway. and I'm going to describe it here, so when it shows up on a runway in the spring I'll have proof I thought of it first. (unlike the post I never wrote that was an article in Vanity Fair last month!!!!) I want a very square, draped dress like the midevil Italian dresses, but in a very light spring green raw silk! doesn't that sound pretty! don't forget to pretend to be surprised when you see it!!!!

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this all sounds expensive, so please start sending me cash gifts now. I'll let you know when I meet somebody.


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california is for YOGA, suckerz!

ooops, I just got called out cause I haven't given any details about my trip to cali.... I guess cause I kinda figured yoga is one of those "you had to be there"-type experiences.

but, on the social side, I did have a great time seeing some old friends from my last trip out there and meeting a whole bunch of new people... (including I saw Santa at the beach, I'll have to post that photo later) I also ate at 3 great restaurants (BRITEW, I wished you were there with me at the Indian place!) and I was able to reach two overseas buddies on my cell!! plus I celebrated Christmas eve out there with some great yoga folks!

AND then the capper was when I came back, after all that yoga, I was taller than my brother again!! he'll verify that this is true! YOGA, people!

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ps - if you're not tired out of the whole xmas thing quite yet, I suggest you scoot over to anonymous coworker's site to put the capper on your holiday! harhar!!!!!


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NEW, NEW, NEW for 2006!!!!!!

hmmmm... methinks yesterday's post was not grandiose enough for the first post of the year. therefore, I now offer the following:

"DON'T JUST SIT THERE! get ready to be amazed by the "best blog of 2006"†! DON'T BE FOOLED by her first post of 2006! "Tha lorider" is going to pull out all the stops this year and "ROCK YOUR WORLD"® !!! DO NOT BE TAKEN IN by "imi-blogs"©: catchy phrases like "egg-nog" or "I am so pitiful" WASTE your VALUABLE BLOG-READING TIME! WHY NOT do yourself - and maybe a loved one, too! - a favor and subscribe to the blog america's sweetheart, Kenny G, calls "delicious!"۝ YOU TOO can "BE AN ANARCHIST!"₪ YOU ARE UNDER MY POWER!" ۩


†-source: Independent Rating Service
® - "ROCK YOUR WORLD" is registered by 1209 anarchists on 9 of Uranus' moons - including Umbriel and Titania!
© - "imi-blogs" is copyrighted by 1209 anarchists on the sea-floor
۝ - quote from Kenny G may refer to another topic
₪ - "BE AN ANARCHIST" is your new mantra
۩ - YOU ARE UNDER MY POWER

welcome to 2006, suckers!

maybe I should copy anonymous coworker's resolution and stop calling you, my dear readers, suckers, but... well...... I just like it!

did anyone make resolutions? spill :) myself, I'm not really in the mood this year. and let's face it, the lorider's pretty friggin perfect as is....... actually, I guess I do intend to be more optimistic in general this year.... despite getting a traffic ticket on New Year's Day!!!!!!!
(new years, for chrissakes, officer!!!)

I hope you all had great new years celebrations, like me. My friend Marie made a- wow, I lost count how many courses - authentic French meal. it was délicieux! and they have cable, so the guys (and me) kept slipping off to watch the UFC year in review show - a show which greatly matched our festive spirit! that may become my new new years tradition!

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Update: I don't want to seem ungrateful, so I will update my gifts received list: a rhyming dictionary - from england!!! (sorry cookie, how did I leave that off the 1st time???) that was my no. 1 pres... although, I must say my vintage gold lame disco shirt may have tied!!! (I was a sensation at the New Year's party!!) also, a beautiful gold scarf, a sweater, & a bracelet (and I opened my first b-day pres, too!)


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