wow, I did it - I had the perfect Saturday this past weekend! I could hardly believe it, even as it was happening to me. now I can share the ingredients for the perfect Saturday with you:
1. arrange for beautiful, sunny 70° weather.
2. spend a relaxing morning cleaning your apartment and getting ready to witness your good friend's wedding until in the end, sewing new buttons onto your sweater takes you longer than you thought and then the bride calls you and tells you the freeway is shut down in that direction so now you're in a hurry but luckily the traffic works out and all the lights are in your favor, as evidenced by the fact that you only managed to paint three nails on your way there. you are the last one to show up, but hey, you're still one minute early, right?
3. attend a ceremony where the chapel is precious, the staff friendly and warm, and the preacher takes the time to give the ceremony a special touch. try not to cry... then hug everybody and take a bunch of pictures!
4. have a wonderfully relaxing and fun post-ceremony luncheon with the coolest and friendliest group of people you can find. make sure that at least two of them co-tell the Funniest Story Ever® until you can't even tell if it's the wine or the belly-laughs making you feel this way. have a cup of coffee after lunch - hey, you're about to drive a 5- and 8-year-old to the zoo! (..... oh well, their parents never read this blog anyways....)
5. drive home, change into jeans (& convince the 5-year-old to change out of his bunny costume) and take your two cute kid-neighbors to the zoo. make sure they are perfectly well-behaved, this makes it especially fun. be sure to see the polar bears and kangaroos. carrying the 5-year-old on your shoulders all the way back to the car is optional.
6. gee, weren't you nice to invite those kids to the zoo (even though you used the parents' zoo pass, so the whole time, you were only out the price of one lollipop!!) now you should be invited to eat dinner with the family in the shady backyard. you've eaten so well today, you think a heavy dinner might be too much... but luckily they're having a simple dinner of hamburgers and hot dogs!! have one of each!
7. now watch TV or a movie or something, I can't remember - but I'm sure you'll figure it out!
have fun!
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4 comentarios:
I did not see anything in there about 1.) beer 2.) porn 3.) rock and roll. I thought you said it was a "perfect" day?
anon, do I have to spell it out for you? you can have beer instead of wine, listen to rock as you're driving around, and "watch TV or a movie, I can't remember what I did" means "surf for porn on the internet."
any other life dilemmae you can't solve? just ask Rev. Lorida' - that's what I'm here for!
Why does tinfoil shoot sparks when i put it in the microwave?
that is the secret superpower of tinfoil, which it uses to fend off other, "more annoying" pieces of tin foil .... do you catch my drift...?
love,
Rev. Lorida'
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