LOTF

aside: hmmmm, I had to reconsider whether to post this after witnessing the recent change of venue of a co-blogspotter (and yet he lands on his feet - I can't believe such a great address wasn't taken! kudos, tf) well, I've altered this subtly ... just in case...:

watch out! in another overly-hyped media production, you will soon be watching a three-hour saga about the WAR OF THE FORKS! here is the rough outline of my screenplay, which will be told as a voiceover from the journal of an aspiring war-correspondant:

WAR OF THE FORKS (Episode I)
tagline: "nobody panic and no one will get hurt!"

dateline- 10:30 last tuesday: I think it is the nature of a large office for forks to disappear little by little, but our housekeeper decided to take this personally for some reason. he's been hoarding forks in the storage room, letting us eat off of spoons and occasionally, strangely-shaped airline forks when they turn up. as the vips here don't eat lunch with us peons, he's been getting away with this strange behavior. until..... today....... a very, very vip at our office went to get a fork for her salad and lo and behold, she had to eat with a funny-shaped fork!!!!!! the evil, but misunderstood peon got blasted. she is a very, very vip who likes to have a well-shaped selection of forks at her disposal.

dateline - yesterday afternoon:well, poor mr. hk didn't mend his foolish ways, but just shifted a few forks from here to there. he got reamed out again, only this time by a very sweet admin person who honestly, I've only heard her raise her voice one other time. well, mr. hk must have been so hurt by this he lost his mind entirely........

dateline - today about 5 minutes ago: I just looked in the drawer and the entire silverware tray was covered in a mountain of forks, forks!..... forks of every shape and size. he must have had these all along, but I don't see how not letting us use them was solving the problem? plus, our very, very vip ("how do you think I got so rich?") don't like too little or too much forks! if she happens to open the drawer, my friends, there is going to be more drama!

segue to Episode II: I tremble, I shiver..... I fear I may soon witness first-ever firing over forks!!